If Only
by Tessabe
Summary: A young Herald on his internship grows up faster than he could ever have expected. One-shot, though I may develop some of these character's in the future.


**This is something that was kind of lurking in the back of my mind. It was going to be an original story, but I decided to make it into a fan fiction and I'll be a little different from the original concept. Mercedes Lackey owns Valdemar and everything involved with it, I just borrowed it for awhile. This is a one-shot.**

_**OH, I did take the reviews to heart and fixed a few things, however his reaction to his Companion being used to pull rock will stay the same. I believe it's a matter of interpretation rather than Canon. Sure he has the training, but he's untested and needs the maturity only experience will give him. How boring it would be if all our characters were perfect right from the start. Besides it would gut the story if I changed that.**_

If Only

Javen rode circuit with Sanlen, he could hardly believe he was actually on his internship; finally. He pulled the hem of his new whites down, smoothing the wrinkles out and admiring the look of it. He heard Norral's snort and felt a wave of amusement from the stallion. Norral was always giving him a hard time about his vanity.

:It's not the uniform, Nor. It's that we're finally out here doing things: he sent to him, before the other could say a thing.

:I know, it is exciting: Norral sent in agreement..

They were well into their circuit and Javen had already had the chance to sit in judgment and to make decisions and to collect the tax records, though that wasn't as exciting as some things they had been doing.

:You know what the Shin'a'in say about exciting times: Norral asked.

:Yeah I know: he sighed, still a little excitement would be nice he thought.

He got his excitement and then some a few days later when they were in Lindham, a mining town. They had set up as they usually did and had started talking to the first of the petitions when the ground shook and Javen could see a cloud of dust in the distance.

"The mines, tis the mines, they've collapsed" a man yelled.

People ran towards the mines and Javen looked wildly at his mentor "What can we do" he asked.

Sanlen frowned and waved him quiet as he grabbed the mayor and asked him about what emergency plans they had in place. Finally he turned to Javen " I'm riding for the Healer in Menrun, you'll stay here and help as needed" he frowned and added. "You have a strong gift in mindspeach I think they'll have you searching for survivors, Just don't get in their way. They know what they are doing." The mayor nodded looking relieved.

Javen was a little resentful of this, he felt that he wasn't a little anymore, but he knew now wasn't the time to complain. He mounted Norral and pulled another of the rescue workers up behind him and rode for the mine.

It looked like chaos to him at first, but eventually he could see some of the purpose of the men milling around the entrance of the collapsed mine.

"Go up with Denner, and use your gift to look for survivors," the manager said grabbing his shoulder as he dismounted. The man frowned in apology to Norral "Could you help pull some of the ropes we've rigged up to move rock" he asked.

Norral nodded and went to join the horses and mules that had been brought to the site.

:You're a Companion: Javen sent in shock..

:It's an emergency, we all pull our weight: Norral's voice carried overtones of disapproval for his chosen. The unspoken 'grow up' loud in his mind.

Javen flushed, a wave of shame washing through him, he hated when Norral was disappointed in him and he knew it was justified in this case. He turned and followed the man he assumed was Denner. He climbed the shifting stone and gravel after the man. He had a hard time catching up and was gasping by the time they reached the spot where they would be out of the way of the rescue workers, but still close enough that he could cast his mind out for survivors. "What do you need to do?" the man asked bringing his attention to the task at hand.

"I need to sit and close out the other commotion" he said. Closing his eyes he lowered his shields, casting his mind down then out through the rock. He had a secondary gift of farsight, but it was much weaker and he didn't think it would work anyway in the pitch black of the cavern. He winced as he felt the pain of a survivor near the entrance "I feel a man, about 15 paces from the entrance, he's trapped under the rock" he looked up at Denner. "He can hear the rescue workers from his position." He heard Denner calling out that information as he cast his mind out farther.

Over the next candlemark he found about ten more men, the worker's began to look at him with more respect as they began to find the men where he told them to look. At one point someone brought him a skin of water and he drank without bothering to open his eyes, the cool water washing the dust from his throat.

:Help me: his eyes opened in shock at the mental cry.

:Who are you: he asked.

:Raianna, the mayor's daughter. Please who are you: she asked in a frightened voice.

:I'm Javen, one of the two Heralds: he sent.

:A Herald, you'll save me: He felt her relief flavored with the hysteria that he could feel her holding back.

:We'll do out best, we've already dug out eleven men: he said. :You'll just have to be patient, we'll get to you:.

He turned to Denner "I've been able to contact someone called Raianna, she said she's the mayor's daughter." The man turned white and yelled at the men below, the men started working harder and Javen saw a man take off towards town.

"Ask her what's she's doing in the mine" Denner said urgently.

:They want to know what you're doing there: he said to her, concentrating on their tenuous link.

:I was taking lunch to some of the men, they had found a good vein and didn't want to stop working for lunch:

He passed that information on and asked :How many are with you:

:There should be five in this branch of the mine, but I only hear three and one is injured:

He cast his mind further in her direction and felt the men, there were only three alive and one of them was unconscious: He passed this information to Denner.

:Can you tell us where you are: he asked her.

:The south branch: he felt a little thread of fear run through her mindvoice.

"She says they are in the south branch" he told Denner.

Denner swore and at another time Javen would have made note of his language.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It'll take many candlemarks to dig through to them, the rock is harder there".

He turned to the worker's and yelled the information and Javen heard other oaths before he concentrated on the girl.

:Are you still there: he could hear her call.

:I'm still here, I'm not going anywhere: he hurried to reassure her. He felt her relief. He took another drink from the skin.

:Water: he felt her surprise.

:You felt that: he sent a little shocked, he had been keeping his shields open, but she shouldn't have felt him drinking.

:Yes: she said slowly.

:You must have a strong gift: he sent to her.

:I don't know, I didn't know I had one: a slight sense of wonder threaded through her mindvoice, fighting with the fear he could still feel.

Over the next few candlemarks he kept her company, he learned about her life in the village. She learned of his childhood in Haven, and Norral. He told her things he had never told another soul. He looked down at the workers, surprised at the darkness as dusk fell, the scene looked surreal, lines of torches standing among the small piles of stone, the dark shadows of worker's darting among them and the sound of moving stone, groans of men and straining horses.

He shared the scene with her :See they are working hard to save you: He didn't tell her he had felt the injured man die, though the rescuers knew and had worked harder to save those still alive.

He was awed at the effort they expended, he had never imagined that men could work so hard, for so long with so little rest. He would never complain again about work, he felt like a different person than he had been that morning and wished he could do more to help.

When he offered Denner shook his head "No son, you're doing what we can't, we need you where you are."

:Javen: he almost felt her gasping in his own body.

What's wrong: he asked.

:The air's going bad, I don't know how long we can last: he felt her unnatural calm.

He turned to Denner "The air's going bad, how soon will they break through?"

Denner looked grim "It'll be close, I'm not sure if we can make it." He turned to the men and yelled this new information, but there was no way they could go faster, there was only so much a human could do, only so much they could push themselves and they were at the limits already.

:They are working, hold on: he sent her.

:They won't make it, I can tell: she sent, he felt her grim laugh. :You know, I wasn't supposed to be here today, it was a whim to taken Kanlin's place, If only: she trailed off.

:If only: he asked, his heart heavy with fear and the sense of urgency.

:If only I had met you in another time, and we could have spent time with each other, now we only have this moment it's all we'll ever have: she sent to him.

:No, they are almost there, just hold on: he sent franticly., tears running down his cheeks washing tracks in the dust on his face.

:Don't worry, I've had a good life you know, and I wouldn't trade the time I've had talking to you, I feel closer to you than I've ever felt to another person: her voice trailed off weaker.

:Tell my family I love them: she said, then her voice finally stopped for the last time. A quarter candlemark later the men broke through, too late, he thought sobbing in the dust and gravel.


End file.
